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You

IMG_20141113_011114You are afraid people will dislike you once they know the real you. You put smile and keep being nice and polite to create distance. You are a conformist. You care what people think. You play nice all the time to impress others. Yet, you feel empty.

You are afraid to love, to lose. You shut the people out. You play safe. You are afraid to jump. You are afraid to fall.

You want to do things  right but can’t resist the temptation to do it nasty. You want it all to be perfect. Yet, nothing is perfect. You meet her. You love her but you are afraid of being busted.

Then, when you want to talk to her you are annoying, needy when you miss her, emotional when you care and insecure when you are afraid to lose her.

You don’t want her to know the real you because you don’t want to lose her. You keep the distance but you want to keep her close. You don’t know what to do. You are suffering.

You get her then you let her go, then you miss her, then you get her back just to let her go again.

You don’t want her to move but you tell her to go.

She is an independent one, not afraid of life, not afraid of trying, not afraid of making mistakes. She doesn’t believe in perfection. She is clumsy and slow. She doesn’t give a damn about what people think. She loves being her. She lives the life she chooses. She doesn’t try to impress people. She is curious of everything. She is not afraid to jump and fall. She knows what she wants. She knows what she seeks. she meets you.

She falls many times, she gets up the same. She is no good of being dramatic. She makes everything simple. She meets you. She finds it is complicated with you. She doesn’t know what to do. She is suffering. She asks you to jump with her, to live the life.

Then both of you share the same feeling, the same songs, the same movies, the life.

You are losing your grip, you fall, you are afraid of losing her once she knows the real you. You start the fight then you hide, you go, you run, you let her go.

She opens up to you and you judge her. She doesn’t get you, she fights, she fights, she fights, then she stops.

She loves you, yet she lets you go. You love her, yet you let her go.

She meets another man.

She decides to stick with a man who is not afraid to jump, to fall, to love, to lose, to make mistakes, to live, to be happy and miserable, to feel pain and joy.

You meet another woman.

You decide to stick with a woman who can’t reveal the real you because you want to keep it safe. You want the distance. You avoid deep conversation to hide the real feeling. You are safe.

After all, we all wanna play victims. We don’t want to be blamed. You will have different story, different point of view. In your story, you are the victim. She knows this, so she never tells anyone. She keeps the memories, for herself. She knows she will play victim if she tells someone. Like in this story.

Somehow she never regrets you, you are still one of her favorite people.

It just doesn’t work for both of you. She realizes, she can’t choose someone who doesn’t choose her back. It has to be a mutual decision.

You, thank you for everything. She really means it.

 

You – She

Cause you’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up. (Katy Perry – Hot and Cold)

Then you come around again and say, baby I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change. (Taylor Swift – We are never ever getting back together)

I should just tell you to leave cause I know exactly where it leads but I watch us go round and round each time. (Taylor Swift – Style)

And if you like having secret little rendezvous. If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do, baby I’m perfect! (One direction – Perfect)

We’ll wonder why we gave up. (Ariana Grande – Almost is never enough)

Losing him was blue like I’d never known. Missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. But loving him was red. Oh, red. Burning red. Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go. (Taylor Swift – Red)

Perdebatan apapun menuju kata pisah. Jangan paksakan genggamanmu, yang berubah hanya tak lagi ku milikmu.  (Tulus – Pamit)

Then she remembered the first time she saw you differently, she thought she would never fall in love with you, but she was wrong. She remembered everything like singing her favorite song. She missed you.

You are the best and the worst mistake at the same time. How she wished that you would have never called her again after the last breakup, You did. How she wished that she would have never met you again. She met you again. Because she knew it very well her feeling for you was hard to change.

She’s with him, you’re with her. Strange. Life is strange. Love is strange.

There is no answer that will make the pain go away. There is only the next relationship. One of the most effective ways for either us to recover from a breakup is to date someone new.

It’s a happy ending I guess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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